Our Stories
Akiva :To the rescue – of an entire family
Yossi: Standing proudly under the Chuppa
David: From recipient to donor
Yochai: Choosing The Real World
Despite all the obstacles – Koby can, too!
To the rescue – of an entire family
Akiva’s story
Eight-year-old Akiva was unable to become a part of his class. Dislexia and attention disorder were major obstacles which prevented him from making progress. It seems that these difficulties had effects reaching beyond his own life: they filtered through to his family, and hit his parents especially hard. Akiva was their third child out of six. Meeting the daily challenges, along with addressing Akiva’s problems, was no simple task for them. Akiva’s difficulties created a block of misunderstanding between them – frustration and tension clouded the atmosphere, disturbing their relationship.
When Akiva reached Achiya, the professional staff at the Center pooled together all of their resources to treat the problems with patience, warmth and affection. To this end, a great deal of time and consistent behavior were a “must”, but the results justified the considerable investment that was made. When Akiva’s treatment ws successfully completed, his parents finally realized how far reaching an effect his problems had had on their marriage. Their difficulty in understanding his situation, their inability to cope with it adequately, and the resultant tension in the family all contributed to creating serious communication problems between them: there was even talk of divorce….
It is, then, no wonder that Akiva’s parents were tremendously grateful to the staff at Achiya. “In addition to the fact that you saved the soul of our son,” they said, “you rescued the heart of our family and prevented it from coming apart.”
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Standing proudly under the chuppa
(Wedding canopy)
Yossi’s story
One of the pearls in the collection of stories at Achiya an unforgettable wedding which Rabbi Gombo, the founder, attended. To the Rav’s great surprise, a minute before the groom stepped under the chuppa, he motioned to the Rav, asking him to come… Rabbi Gombo stepped up to the place where the groom was standing, and the young man burst into tears! The Rav, of course, was taken aback – but his amazement turned into a
feeling of being deeply moved when this young groom said, “I was a student in Achiya, and it simply changed my life. I had a problem with attention deficiency, and I didn’t consider myself as a person who amounted to anything before I came to Achiya. To the credit of the wonderful staff and through the help that I received, my whole world turned over. I, convinced that no one would ever want to get married to me, – I can now stand under the chuppa proudly, overjoyed and full of confidence – with my chosen life’s partner! All this thanks to Achiya; all this thanks to
you!. Now, thanks to you, I can stand proudly under the chuppah. This is the happiest day of my life!”
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David’s Story
One day, a young man came into the offices of Achiya with his brother, a boy of 7. When he introduced his brother Ari, asking to register him at the Center, he flashed a broad smile to Rabbi Gold, who was sitting at the other side of the desk. As the Rav was writing down the details for registration, he looked up and asked the young man why, as a resident of Rehovot, he was turning to Achiya, and not to a treatment center closer to where he lived. The smile on the face of the young man broadened as he answered, “Rabbi Gold – don’t you remember me?” A few seconds passed until the rabbi realized who it was standing in front of him. … “Dovid’l, is that you? I can’t believe it!”
Indeed, it was “Dovid’l”, that is, David, who, thirteen years before, had come to Achiya, accompanied by his parents. An unexpected surprise was awaiting these parents, who had become disappointed and disillusioned. Through Achiya, over a period of four years, David received support and guidance which enabled him to realize his potential.
Rabbi Gold recalled David’s Bar Mitzvah, which was attended by the whole Achiya staff. “I shall never forget your speech, David. You read it with such confidence. You made all of us – and your parents – so proud! You didn’t leave one dry eye among the audience.”
“It was the trust that you placed in me that led to my success,” answered David. “I know that you’ll do the best possible for my brother, as well. Because of the guidance you gave me, I turned into a giver, instead of being a receiver. Today, I am coming back to you as a student of special education in the teacher training college of Achiya. I hope to pass on to others the same gift that I received from you in Achiya, b’ezrat haShem.”
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Yochai’s story
Yochai, a clever and talented boy in the upper grades of the Talmud Torah, came to the learning center in Achiya over a long period of time. He would come twice a week, traveling for an hour and a half in each direction, with a determination that knew no compromise. Yochai’s background was far from simple. He grew up in a family where the mother was observant and inspired with faith; his father was a self-proclaimed secular Jew. Yochai was torn between the two worlds; he didn’t know where he belonged.
Yochai was never able to review his learning material at home with his father; thus, he lacked the foundation of learning skills. When his class began to study Gemara, the gap between him and the other pupils became much more noticeable. Yochai did not succeed in following reading in the Gemara – it was so hard, without vowels and devoid of punctuation marks. It was impossible for him to understand the connection between the sentences which comprised the text.
Yochai’s mother was determined to help him. Twice a week, after a long and exhausting trip, the two appeared at the Achiya center. Yochai was provided with a strong foundation for learning; the thoroughness with which it was given would turn Yochai into an independent learner, one who would be able to stand on his own two feet, all on his own, paving his way to being able to study without an instructor.
Today, after two years of diligence, persistence and determination, Yochai is about to enter yeshiva, equipped with the tools that he received in Achiya, and with renewed hope for success. With his newly acquired abilities, he will be able to feel confident in the Torah world, which he has chosen, using the broad range of skills, which he acquired to learn that he…..CAN!
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The insistent rain of knocks on the door of the teachers’ room caught Rabbi Kagan in the middle of drinking his cup of coffee. “Rabbi – the head caretaker is calling you – it’s urgent!” Yair, whose boyish face was usually bright and happy, was now contorted in consternation. “He says that you just have to come!”
Rabbi Kagan rushed down the hallway. Strange, he thought – what can the man responsible for the upkeep of the “cheider” want from him? There in the hallway, in the middle of a circle of children, stood the caretaker, his arms wrapped around Asher, one of the children in the class.
“Excuse me, Rabbi,” said the caretaker, releasing his grip on the child when Rabbi Kagan appeared. “It was really dangerous – this pupil of yours almost injured some of the children with my drill! I had to catch hold of him.”
”Asher, would you like to tell me what happened?” asked the rabbi, trying to intone empathy. Really, how much can one try to help a child, with no cooperation? Had it been up to him, a long time ago this child would have been sent for evaluation and professional treatment.
“They said that I am disturbed, rabbi, and that I don’t understand anything. I’ll show them – I’ll pound them!” Asher leaped at Yair, and the rabbi quickly caught him. From the punches that reached him accidentally, he realized the seriousness of the situation. Yair burst out crying, covering his injured eye. Asher hurried away from the battlefield, before he could be held to a reckoning of what he had done.
Sighing, Rabbi Kagan returned to the teachers’ room. He wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he’d receive an angry phone call from Yair’s parents that evening. As a parent, he himself would demand that a melamed take care of such a problem. Chaim Gilbert’s parents didn’t stop at calling Rabbi Kagan about the deep scratches their son had on his face the week before; both the principal and the supervisor told him about the shocked reaction of Chaim’s parents, and about their insistence that the guilty child be taken care of – and right away!
On his way to the evening session of Achiya’s teacher training, Rabbi Kagan was still ruminating over the events of the morning. Right from the very beginning, he had loved teaching and enjoyed his work , and from the time that he began to receive professional training, he felt that everything he did was even more effective… but the story with Asher clouded his feelings of satisfaction and success.
In the beginning of the year, he had thought, naively, that he would talk to Asher’s parents about their son’s problem. Surely, they would want to seek the advice of the educational counselor in the cheider and to take Asher to professional evaluation and treatment. He had been totally unprepared for the barrage of invective that he had received. If we were to believe the father’s claims, it was Rabbi Kagan who was the only guilty party in all of Asher’s difficulties. The sole reason for Asher’s failing to learn anything, for his violence with other children, for all his severe behavioral problems – everything has its root in Rabbi Kagan.
It was difficult for him to concentrate on the lecture. Asher’s problem was still bothering him. Suddenly, a few sentences caught his attention. Rabbi Gruzman, the lecturer, was speaking about school- wide communication: the description he gave of a conflict that can arise between parents, the teacher and his pupil fitted the situation that was bothering Rabbi Kagan – to a “T”.
He went over his discussions with Asher’s father in his mind. Perhaps Rabbi Gruzman’s new approach would solve the problem? Placing the responsibility squarely in the hands of the parents – stressing, again and again, that the responsibility lies only with them… while gently, but insistently convincing them that they would have to recognize that there is a problem… this was an innovative approach. A new angle – it was certainly worth trying.
He decided that his next conversation with Asher’s father would be… as if a chance conversation. That way, it would be easier to try the new approach, without starting off on the wrong foot. Davvening “mincha” in the shul next to Asher’s house would afford him the opportunity he needed.
“Reb Levi,” he smiled at the father, “how are you?” “Just fine, thank you, Rabbi Kagan. Nu – how is my Asher doing?” the tone was confrontational. Rabbi Kagan found himself searching for the words he had so painstakingly prepared at home. What now? Should he be complimentary? Should he ignore the problem? When he had heard Rabbi Gruzman’s lecture, everything seemed so clear, so convincing. But – how, exactly, does one begin?
“Baruch haShem, baruch haShem,” he answered, with the ring of an all-too-standard reply. “What do you have to say about him?” No. I’m not getting it right….But to his surprise, there was already a change in the expression on Asher’s father’s face.
“He’s just fine, Asher. At home, he’s always just fine. When he’s not being annoyed in cheider, he’s really just fine.” “I’m so happy to hear it,” answered Rabbi Kagan, pleasantly, intrigued at the surprise registered on Asher’s father’s face. With the unexpected change in the opening of their conversation, Mr. Levi’s enmity had begun to soften.
On his way back home, Rabbi Kagan replayed his conversation over and over. Perhaps there had been no major difference between this and previous conversations, but Asher’s father had been noticeably not the same as usual. In the continuation of their exchange, he had even let slip a comment about Asher’s lack of obedience at home. Such a “confession” had been totally impossible in their previous talks.
The softening process demanded a great deal of patience from Rabbi Kagan. Had it not been for the weekly lectures in the Teachers’ Training Center at Achiya, it is doubtful that he would have been successful in persisting. Every day, he worked hard to convince himself that Asher’s parents were the only ones responsible for him. Responsibility, given from Heaven, for educating their son lay squarely on their shoulders: the only real way to help Asher was to respect those responsible for him, and to recognize that they were the only ones in control of the situation.
The classroom door revolved on its hinges for the twentieth time that evening. The parent who stood in the doorway was far more familiar to Rabbi Kagan than any other parent. It was none other than Asher’s father. “Rabbi Kagan, I have something important to tell you today.” As usual, the tone exuded confidence. It was only thanks to the many conversations that they had had in the past that Rabbi Kagan was able to perceive the difficulty underneath the hard mask on the face of the man who stood in front of him. “Asher’s mother, may she be well, and I have made an appointment with Dr. Katz, the children’s psychologist in our health fund. I think that you, here in the Talmud Torah, have to understand that if a child displays wild behavior and is not successful in his learning, it doesn’t mean that he’s just a mischievous boy. It could be that he really needs help. We heard from friends of ours that Dr. Katz helped their son. And we want to see what he is going to say about Asher. We’ll tell you what the psychologist has to say, and don’t forget to fill out the forms that we are going to bring you. The people at the health fund say that the Talmud Torah has to cooperate with them.”
Rabbi Kagan imagined the reactions he would get from his friends in the training course. When he decided to try the new approach that he had learned in Achiya, he did so because all his previous attempts had failed. In his wildest dreams, he had not expected such far-reaching success. With this amazing breakthrough, he dared to hope that Asher would discover that he, too….CAN!
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Despite all the Obstacles – Koby can, too!
“Do you know that I’m going into fourth grade?” asked the sweet boy sitting across from me, eyes shining with visible excitement.
I smiled at him and answered, “Great!” In my heart, I felt surprised: what was the big excitement? Isn’t this just a most ordinary occurrence?
Not for Koby.
Until now, Koby had been a pupil in special language kindergartens, and in small classes. Next year, Koby will go to a regular school. It’s a celebration – not only for him, but also for his parents, and – of course – for us!
Koby arrived at the child development center in Achiya about six years ago. From that time, the multi-disciplinary staff helped him to reach this great day.
Rivka, an occupational therapist, tells us: “When I met Koby for the first time, I saw him as a child with a poor self image, a child who had no confidence in his ablilties; there was a significant difference between his level and that of his peers in regard to a wide range of functions. Motor difficulties expressed themselves in his difficulty to be acquainted with his body and to make use of it as he needed. He had trouble in recognizing his written name and in writing it, in drawing, in cutting out forms with a scissors, and many other activities. It became clear to me very quickly that our first goal would be to give Koby the feeling that he was capable of achieving: this is how the long process of therapy began.
Sheila, who works in clinical communications, added: ” Koby’s story was not at all simple for him, or for us, the therapy staff. His difficulties were of a complex nature.” He found it difficult to enunciate words and had poor comprehension.
Tammy, an occupational therapist, said: “The biggest problem that prevented Koby from making progress was his lack of motivation. Somehow, we managed to work with him in spite of this serious obstacle.”
Noa, who is a clinical communications therapist, adds: “When I began working with Koby three years ago, he was very passive. Slowly, but surely, he began to change his behavior, and became a child who actively cooperated with us. From that minute, he made noticeable progress.”
There is no doubt, note the surprised and happy therapists, hearing the good news, that the constant cooperation of Koby’s parents contributed greatly to his success and helped him to overcome his difficulties – both physical and emotional.
Noa: “Koby’s parents went to different libraries in search of suitable reading material that would improve Koby’s ability to express himself and encourage developing his comprehension. I was always amazed at these special parents who gave so much of their energies toward helping, while raising a large family.
Rivka: (social worker) Koby’s parents accepted the recommendations of the therapeutic staff in the Child Development Center and put Koby into a language kindergarten; later on, he was in a small, supportive class. The parents understood that this was for his good. They did not hesitate to act upon the recommendation of the staff that they participate in sessions for parental guidance, in order to improve Koby’s behavior, aiming at helping his progress in therapy: they came to each of the meetings. The results were quickly noticeable – Koby began to close the gaps in his learning, and to feel much better about himself.
Koby’s success story is unique: It’s a celebration for all of us here at Achiya. His is only one example of the many and varied success stories of children who arrive at Achiya. The secret?
When the long treatment period had ended, Koby’s mother wrote us: “Thank you very much for all your patience, your efforts, support, heartfelt empathy, professionalism and sincere desire to help, while preserving the spiritual atmosphere in which we want to bring up our children. Thanks for everything!”
This, then, is the secret of Achiya’s therapists: by joining all those points together, with a constant faith in the principal that – with help from Above - they will be able to teach children that they …… CAN!
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